Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Fellowship With CFers :)

Wasted the entire afternoon procastinating at home. Went to meet darling felicia at rp before e cf ppl come for our dinner outing at sakae sushi!! My all-time favourite. Haha..but dunno y..appetite not veri gd 2dae..so din eat THAT much...wahaha :P

Wells, I must sae tt it's a very INTERESTING dinner. Haha...all tt laughing :))) Wells..it's always great 2 fellowship wif ur CF ppl. Must do it more often!!! Yeah:) -winks- Wells..but i keep kana suan by SOME ppl....tsktsk. oh well.. :D Oh and all that "discussion" is so sinful. tsktsk "-_-.

Wells...all of us took a nice long walk fm raffles to esplanade; nice street lamps, gentle waves, couples weaving in n out...simply beautiful, I've oways loved tt place. However, onli one thg dampened my spirit, wad is it? I shan't sae. But I am not too pleased bout the distraction :(

Oh well..wad can I say?? Am I being too sensitive? Am I overreacting? Am I hallucinating? Am I or am I not? This is nuts...oh well. wadever it is.. NTH must go on. It must be stopped. If there is any progresssion, yes, I will talk things out. Don't push me to that extent. things will turn ugly. Trust me, cos I've been there, done that.......

Okie...my very sincere apologies to God. I've sinned once again, allowing tt very thg to hit me again, that veri thot that stains, that veri heart that's evil. Lord, I repent. And to you, my frens who have been dragged down by me, I am so so sorry, really. I will try my best to get over this myself, with God. Thanks for gg thru all that trouble :))

As thou I didn't have enough, the night had to end with an exclamation mark. Right at home, a storm was brewing . It's e start of a melodrama again.. the same old story, the same old people, the same old lines, the same old responses; mockingly stirring up a bitter-sweet symphony. I realised, I knew, I denied, I rejected. Why o why did I do that?

Pride masked my stubborness, it activated human's defense mechanism. Bad bad bad, but luckily for God's grace, I was saved:)God placed great ppl to remind me of His way, His truth n His light :) Special thanks to Mark & Abel, their prayers n reminders online, thank God for them, timely! :)

Thankfully, all's well ends well :) After 2 hrs of dramarama.. we reconciled. God really blesses us as sisters :) Wells. i was tveeing thru e nite....cos i kan slp at all. Oh well..What an eventful nite?!?

Every happening, every move, Lord u teach me. I am listening, thank u Lord :) I will promise to try.A matter of priorities, a redundant battle of dignity & pride, I surrender them all to u, o Lord :) Ciao!

I care if u care, I mind if u mind, can I? I don't really care.

heart flutters by @ 9:49 AM

Friday, September 22, 2006
Camp 2006; lost ME, found YOU :)

BEWARE!-----> Below's a long long entry.

Sharing with u as promised; the place, the people, the moments, the memories n the author of it all, God :) copyrighted @ camp LoSt; 18th-21st Sept.

Hyped up, excited, joyful and driven, my onli burden is my super heavy baggage. Travel light? auntie me just can't. *shrugs* lolx :p Was late as usual..but thankfully it's not just me. haha. I pray tt every camper will experience God like never before! and so i pray--->Let e camp begin!!

Day ONE :)It's a long long journey to Saint Andrew's Diocese. Wells..I am in Group 3 with Serene, Meliza, Lydia, Luke, Ian, Nicodemus, Fuji; honorably known as "Sesquipedalia" By law, if u don't like us, you have committed the crime of "Floccinoccinihilipilifrecatism." Credit goes to Dr. Ian for this chimology :))) --->

P.s: special tks to kor for "saving" me from a major, non-comprehensive disaster. lolx :) Icebreakers!! :) Haha...was in one of my laughing fits to watch e poor guys kana forfeit. our game master somewhat has an unique interest in asses cos the forfeit somewhat revolves ard tt.

TianEn,Nich,Fuji @ life soccer & Mr.Mark doing a live report on a greiving Meg..2wards a cockcroach?!?! a.k.a XiaoQiang :) Wahaha.Lolx.Ohh..and for dunno wad reason.. I was dorm mistress?? haha. all i can rmb was opening n closing doors, nagging at ppl to hurry up.Wells..and our bathroom is happily situated at e other side of e blk. so all gals have to walked down to 2nd floor n up agn on e other side to e 3rd floor.whywhywhy...when e gents r juz next to e guys'dorm.

However, it is highly dangerous if i walk wif my eyes half-closed each morning..e stairs cld have killed me.Wahaha. :) After some gal-talk..i crashed..nites peeps :)

Day 2 :)*yawns* woke up at lyk 6 plus. Gosh la...dunno who blew whistle...for a moment i thot i'm in some commando camp..it happened agn during our noon nap..this time round is Mr Abel..tsktsk.wahaha.. well well..guess wad's all this hassle for.. our pe captain:Mr Tian En's leading 5bx;morning exerxise.

Then...we have our 2nd message n worship..It was great!! All i can rmb is games after games..wahaha...fun!!!1st stop: Some poker game.. see whose card defeat another.The person holding e weaker card hab to do jumpingjacks as forfeit. Then..if e "special" ppl caught us..we have to camouflage wif our surroundings.. ahah...so was lyk running all over e pl..and it juz seems tt i m forever dd forfeit. lolx.

Run..run..run..game master..is track ur passion?? Why all games nid 2 run? lol Well...well...after our afternoon nap..wonder y we even have tt..lyk those kids in my childcare centre..haha..ask nic..*shrugs* wells..tn dinner tn our nite station games :)

1st stop: My hands were freakkkkin cold..when we have to like dish out specific majiong tiles fm tt icyyyy cold water in lyk e designated time...my hands went numbed..completely..gosh...y kan we play e normal majiong instead?? I can play all nite.. As thou e numbing's not enuf..haha..my grp ppl hab 2 lyk link hands in a reli weird n somewhat obscene manner.tn go up n down e stairs singing" Baby, hit me one more time??" Gosh..wahahah..lolx :p

2nd stop: FEAR FACTOR!!! *drums roll* OMGosh... u wun believe wad I ate. for those hu noe mi well.me being me wld prob squeal, scream or sth..but no no...I ate one spooonful of fried MEALWORMS. Yesh..i did!! it's crispy but i still tink e thot of it is disgusting. Haha..next up is raw n smashed luncheon meat wif ketchup n choco sauce..one big plate..My grp gobbled it up with "joy". But then agn..honestly speaking..i thot tt dish was tasty :p

3rd stop: Fuji chaired e "meeting",bombarded us with qns..some blibical ones.. we still got it wrong..opps..got to read e bible more often..tn we had our forfeit. run 3 rds of e court carrying chairs by our side..wahah..look qyte retard. oh well..

4th stop: CSI :) Amazingly..our grp came up wif e most innovative ans..we had dear angeline rofl..haha. we are too "smart" to solve the mystery lahh..lolx :p

5th stop: GUESS? For ur info..we are not aunties hu haggle n bargain at e flea market la..so apparently we have no idea how much all e groceries cost.lolx. so we broke e record too; had 10 forfeits!! Gosh. i did like human-wheelbarrow, chicken dance, sit-ups, ass-writing..singing...kan rmb le..too much...

Tired...haha..supper-ing...pillow talk till 2plus...tn zzzz. End of Day 2 :)

Day 3 :)*Yawns..have to rise agn at 6plus...e morning baths r not working. *shrugs* After e last msg..morning worship n all..messy games is on!!!.I smell bad seriously. :( tks to whoever created tt mixture of water+eggs+ovaltine+ jelly ??!!?? And i ate lyk raw beansprouts, onions n i dunno wad..i dowan to know..

Haha. whee..waterbombing was fun..but tks to Mark..i was extra wet..*abish* Wash up...rehearsed for talentime.haha..luke n fuji looked so funny..it was hilarious manx dey had to act as geeks!!! Wahaha. tn e gals n I had to act as bimbos..ohh please..tt's definately not me..haha :p

Learned about e story of Rachel. God reli used her to rekindle many of our hearts to live for God. Her love for God is simply inspirational, touches many I believe. I wun dare sae tt my love for God is as courageous as her, I will try thou :) I will. Went supper before all-nite worship begins!! :))

Worship on e last nite was great!amazing!fantastic! Reli felt God's presence there, esp when I prayed for Serene. I am reli thankful for the "4seasons" thg. By identifying which season our life lies in now; In a way we face up to reality n try to seek healing or reconcilation with God,at least tt's for me cos i was in winter. Incessant praying, my girl tearing...bros & sisters worshipping..e whole thg is perfectly weaved by God :))) Haha..1st time in my life, worship ended at 1.15am. :))) great!!!

Everyone was playing "polar bear" or sth. serene dd her thg.. me had nth to do. Was nuaing at e stairway...reflecting over worship..tn Mark came..Haha..tE n e graduates went for supper..haha. mark "nicely" didn't go. Hahah we were chatting, crapping, singing at e tables..haha... tks 4 e company dude. haha..n we kope his supper when tE brought it back.wahaha. Poor Mark..haha..tks to serene. Muahah.lolx :p Then, we played a little trick on serene, shan't say it here. But the culprits are me, mark, luke n abel. wahaah :p All this fun had to end at 5am. My batt went ttly flat le. haha. Whhee..off to bed. Nitess :) End of Day 3Day

Day 4: Ahhh...so sad..camp is coming to an End!! Well..well..who knows? Camp had to end with an exclamation mark!!! My grp was super emo..when we went into prayer, the HS was so strong tt we became lyk running taps. We were literally wailing. i cldn't believe it myself, but we just cldn't stop :) But reli thank God:)

Camp was a blast!!! really:)One very important person I must thank. My angel; my nice nice angel :)) He's reli swt...gave me one big bar of choco..tt made many gals envy. He also gave a postcard,mentos, a bookmark n wang2xiaomantou!! Whee...I love my Mr. Angel:) Then, nice angel noticed i din eat breakfast, so got bread for me!!! How thotful can tt get..that wan i'm reli touched.. haha..whee...Then, last dae, angel help me make milo as he reveals his identity. Wahahah:))) This nice, sweet angel of mine, is none other than ...*drums roll*--- Abel Ang....:)))) thank u so mucch.. hee :D

Reflections
1. Our Father's Perfect Love always comes with choices, unlike man's captived and confined love, God's love is unconditional :)
2. Crying n surrendering makes one more vulnerable to men but more accepting to God
3. Mercy is withholding what we deserve, Grace is giving what we don't deserve.
4. Guard your "E-mouth". veri applicable to youths; blogs n msn esp!!

Thanks God for making this camp great!! and all my frens who share this experience with me :) Love u peeps. May God continue to bless u all

heart flutters by @ 10:07 AM

Friday, September 15, 2006
Cheery, Happpy ME ((:

9am this morning.... NP results released..woahh... i woke up n e sms's alr waiting for me...I jumped manx..sat rite up n opened e msg. And................... Yeah!!! Thank God, i am happy wif my results:)) yupx...it's by God's grace really :) tks to all my lecturers n frens hu encou me thru e 1st sem. thanks ppl :))

Here's e results as promised------------> 1 B, 3 B+, 2 As, 1 Distiction :)) GPA: 3.6 plus :) Praise e Lord!Yupx...so went wif myra for brunch... reli miss her..haven seen her for lyk nearly a mth..thou she stay next blk onli. Not fated la..haha..cos she's working 24/7 ma..unlike me.. :( We talked alot..got reli cool updates fm her..impressive. lols :p

Hehheh..met my 2 darling daughters: xinyi n yvonne in town :) we watched "little man" a reli hilarious flick..super funny..thou my 2 gals seemed a wee bit over e edge cos dey were laughing damn loud as thou dey own e pl..wahaha :)) Wells.. watching a comedy is by far e best anecdote i believe. :)

Smiles.. lols. sianded so went to this mooncake fair at taka.. we suddenly got veri high with toys..kan blame la..deprived childhood. We were competing to see hu can hook more fishes in this fishing game. wahaha.. it's feels good to be childish sumtimes.. lesser worries; reduced entanglement with reality. Then, went starbucks 2 chill...tn roam ard town wif vonne till 9...haha..luv my gals :)

Despite a veri irritating journey I had on my way dere... I had a great time!! thank God again for blessing my gals..ok ppl..sleepy le..nites world :))

I long to see you..but i long even more for you to see me :)

heart flutters by @ 11:19 AM

Tuesday, September 12, 2006
My very first SPA with God

Rise n shine...it's only 6.30am!! ahh..kill me.. i am so sleepy.. but e mere thot of gg EastCoastPark ltr perks me up :) haha..i simply love tt place..lotsa memories dere-refreshing! bahhs..uber long journey, i alr finish lyk reading dunno how mani chapts of my QT bk. lols. Surprisingly, me being a great lu chi manage 2 find my way dere. Hahas :)

Suppose 2 be a cf thg..but onli fuji, felicia n I cld make it. Yups..but dere's quality sharing in small grp ma..hahs..ohh..n fuji gave me a green beanie bear fm macs. yeahhs :)) okie..tn was too bloated due to double breakfast. lols.

By e sea, while trying to blend into e setting..I juz kan help getting disturbed by e ants benneath where i was siting..while concentrating as Fuji reads Psalm 139; a deep plea for God to search me..deep n within... Split for personal Spa with God.. No ppl..east coast has no beauty salon or wadsoever..

SPA here meaning a time of reflection- Stop, Pause & Apply. lols.Yupx..e pure sounds of nature; the waves, the waters, the wind n e rustle of e leaves has a soothing effect. I reviewed my current life with God..was singing n worshipping him. Beautiful..:)

Then, God reminded me of e motto he has for me this yr: Following God's will. Alas!.. it hit me tt i wasn't, at least nt totally.God encou me with Psalm 27;Reminding me 2 seek & rmb his goodness..be strong n not lose hope..no matter how hopeless circumstances seems now..

HS also showed me," We are hard pressed on every side, BUT not crushed; perplexed BUT not in despair; persecuted BUT not abandoned; struck down BUT not destroyed @ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. I sld focus on e but's and not juz e superficial surface. :)God's love is unconditional. The path of humility and self-denial leads to healing and spiritual maturity. Peace should be seeked at e risk of rejection, and e trail of humilation and abasement leads to the road of life. :))

Yupx..had a round of sharing..tn my day's reserved for feli. Haha..one dae aft her bdae ma :)) we went parkway parade..shopped ard..had a gd laugh...tn reaslise e whole dumb pl dun hab e kind of shades she wants..sians..haha..tn took lyk an 1 hr bus journey hm..slept thruout manx..shiok..!! lols :)

I thot this marks e end of e dae..but I was wrong, e day had to end wif an exclamation mark!! oh wells..it happened again! e same old episode playing over n over agn lyk a broken record..just tt it seems more real each time. Torn apart once more..brokedown n cried. It was then I rmb my promise to God tt veri morning..how quick e devil return with his act huh...wells..this is indeed one testing i gotta conqueor. *nodds* Wells, with God's grace..we still reconciled tt nite..so thank God :)

Oh.. and special thanks to Mark- my veri own online spiritual encourager!! tks dude! ok..am pretty drained out by all this drama-rama..i go recharge myself le..nightss ^ ^

Are u that insensitive..or am I just not worth it??

heart flutters by @ 11:22 AM

Tuesday, September 5, 2006
Beautiful Day

Rush..rush...rush...why am i forever late...isit Mr. time or isit juz slow, old meee....haha..guess all my frens alr noe e ans huh...lol :p wadever it is...as usual i am late.late.late. Had to run with 2-inch heels.. flying hair..fm clementi stadium to e mrt..to catch serene n bus 106!! imagine me manx...u'll have a good laugh :p

Reason behind my madness is to reach marina sq on time for my job interview at Buffalo jeans-this branded shop. Gosh la.. just one pair of jeans cost lyk $200 plus-$500 plus, A simple tank top cost lyk $98!! haiz...kill me manx.. *peng* wells...a plain normal gal like me in such a high-end shop, juz makes no sense.

Wells...wadever it is.. i din get e job anyway.. so guess it's fated lahh. Hehheh... shopping ard wif my bestie Serene!!.With her..i'd definately nid a financial consultant. haha. we bought a similar top at LittleMatchGirl- 50 % sale!! :) Actually.. we WERE gg to head down to Zouk for e seventeen party. but happily.. serene left e tixs at hm.. i lazy go get ehhs..so manage to pursuade her out of it..and spend e nite 2gether at esplandae. haha..get over it..it's just a goodie bag..we are nt even dressed for e nite..hahas :p

Woahh...e nite out was great manx...The nite scenery at esplanade never fail to sweep me off my feet..simply beautiful. The sounds of the sea, the clash of the waves, the familiar smell, the loving couples on the sidewalks, the tiny boats n lights--the very pieces being magicaly weaved into this beautiful picture.

I long to be here all day long..especially if it's with you, only you. But i guess for now, I cld only stand here alone; adoring this beauty as the wind caresses me, prompting me to be still. Waiting upon the hope tt someday you will turn back, slow down n realise i'm right here waiting..

But for now... my girlfrens can keep mi happy too :)Thou we din drink..but guess we got a little tipsy..went abit mad..Haha..u noe outside e esplande concourse.. dere's lyk mini ponds with nice blue luminous balls as deco rite? I really love it..look so magical. lol :)

Haha..crazy me went wee bit high...we were lyk camwhoring e whole time. We were ttly in our whole world.not at all bothered by e ppl ard us. The stones pavement between 2 ponds became a platform for our mini photo shoot.We were lyk sprawed on e pavement..as thou we own e place. haha..too bad serene's bluetooth spoil..when it's done..i'll post e pictures up..:))

We took off our shoes..and were posing randomly on e pavement. Haha...tn we wanted this laid-back look rite. But alas! we forgot bout e water..yucks...my hair got a little wet..yucksss!!! Then..dere's this particular pose we tried to capture.. but it's hard to manipulate e angle..so i probably look lyk some idiot or freak out dere..wif e weird posture n all *giggles* serene's like: Noooo..to ur left.. Noooo.. to e rite..up a little, down a little..stay dere..blah blah..lolx..it was hilarious.. :p Guess our hormones are a little imbalanced at nite huh....wadever it is...it was a special kind of fun..It's been a long time since I laugh uncontrollably...laughing fits n all...thanks gal.. i so nid a good laugh in times like this :)Haha...

Makansutra:Glutton Bay rawkz!!! haha... but e prawn noodles uncle abit weird weird wan. anyhow tok rubbish...tink he's just bored...trying to get hooked up with young gals like us. wadever... tn we had icekacang..our shared dinner onli cost 3 bucks!! haha...we are on e economic scheme. bahhss.Thereafter...we took a slow long walk across e bridge..along e streets..to our faraway bus-stop.

The time is really graced by God. My bestie n I held hands, n worshipped God wif our voices....hahas..it really feels gd2 walk on e sidewalks singing & worshipping God freely, with joy. Hahas :) Thank you sister :) :) :)

Haha...we slept thru e whole bus ride..lyk 45 mins..totally busted. But this is really one great night-out wif my bestie. Love ya..ok ppl..good nites. (",)

I just realise how much I long for you to see me, i wan my love to be returned.

heart flutters by @ 11:27 AM

Friday, September 1, 2006
Reflections

Happy 20th Birthday TianEn :)) haha...u've aged!! Wells...e boy got his wish. I compromise my shopping spree, to await for his one call. haha...who ask him 2 be e birthday boy- he win lo :p lol. Poor him la.. bdae still go NP do fyp.. tsktsk..

Wells.. met TE at clem macs to pass him his prezzie... as expected..he had to wait for me. Opps! paiseh.. :p We realise tt our concept of time-reading varies.. my "si dian duo" is lyk 4plus..where his is lyk 4.30. too bad la..now we noe...

Haha :o Had a little chat tn we took train 2gether cos i gotta go town mit my 2nd bao-bei-yvonne. As usual... bdae boy has yet to mature.. still luv to suan ppl.... too bad la.. i admit it here ok: wo jiang bu guo ni!! happy now?? haha...lol but true la. But it was great la.. had company..

I simply hate to travel alone now.. Is it the world? or mebbe it's just me. The space in e carriage seems void and immensely small. It's as thou one can get swallowed by e streams of ppl if u hadn't had someone wif u n make ur presence felt. Guess i am just lonely..but then again..maybe I want to feel lyk i'm indispensable. ahh...this is getting random.. nvm.. But thank god it juz so happen i got company. haha.

Okie..met my darling in town.. shopped ard..it's been a long time since only2 of us were 2gether. great isn't it? haha :) had a htht wif her; gal talk... found out lotsa stuff bout her life n her spiritual journey. I onli have one thg to say: I am so proud of u gal.. n naggy old mum here says" I've raised u well". Haha.. but glory be to God :)In a girl's adolescence..e thread tt reli tugs at our hearts is often our social life- our frens, our peers. Often, our emotions evolves ard them, our tinking gets influenced by them, our principalities gets compromised for them, our rationality being taken by them n our feelings lying down for them. But many a times, we get trampled, disappointed, insulted n maligned.

Sumtimes we wonder..do we deserve it.. why isit tt sumtimes our luv reaps nth but sorrow...life is imperfect. What do u expect manx?But here's e good news my frens.. these ppl...these earthly characters; ppl lyk ur family, ur frens. those dearest to ur heart. Have u realised tt their love's conditional?You have to earn it.

However, God's love is UNCONDITIONAL!! how great can tt be? perfect :) so fren, i juz wanna sae as long as u live by God's will n in His light, u are just fine :) so dun worry so much gal.. "mum" here will keep u in prayer. jiayou ok..keep me updated..tks for e sharing.okie...so much for the "htht" (heart-to-heart-talk). baobei gotta go mit her dad..some bdae dinner. so me journeyed to ps myself...n spend some quality time wif myself. Retail therapy as xin wld sae is reli great..thou mine is onli windowshop.. i felt much better.. okiez..after a dae out.. i nid 2 crash le.. gdnite frens. God bless :)

heart flutters by @ 11:34 AM