Saturday, July 28, 2007
H.E.L.L.O

I know this blog has been pretty lifeless indeed...all i can say is...i prefer not to open up my life to the public. If you are truly my friend...i'm just 8 numbers away really, no need to rely on such to know wad's happening to me...so yup. thanks (:

My last entry was in june.....so much has happened...so much has changed....some come and go, i dun even know where to start..so sometimes, i rather not...really. *shruggs* Oh wells...

I'm still in my semester break...my holidays dun mean lesser activities; in fact more...just that i get to sleep in that's all. Seeing so much of school...feels like i'm already back in it. HMSS and CF ;that's about all that my holidays revolve around..

So much has happened; i need a breather. (thank God that by His air, i breathe)

Camps, Chalets, Dinners, Meetings - all with an A-genda. What happen to words like: shopping, chilling, chatting, lazing, strolling..?

note: "There's a very thin line between fellowship and socializing" Being not Doing/.

CF Camp has been a great learning journey; from the beginning till now...so Much to learn, so Much to grasp, so Much to change, so Much to surrender; our God is as such; there's just so Much that He can give, there's just so Much to His love; forevermore. <3

i'm not alone...see it and believe it for i'm not meant to be (:

Chalets has been interesting too; of course; i had two concurrently- CF n HMSS. I stayed mainly with the latter thou. I thank the people who organise it; creating opportunities for everyone to bond. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed, thank you (: Sometimes, Intentions may get misunderstood, actions may be misinterpreted, but one thing that remains is the Heart- the truth n love within it, is what matters really.

h.e. came/. unexpected. My mind may seem disoriented, my heart may seem flustered but my deeds expressed my standing; clearly, truly. Our paths will not cross, our lines remain parallel. Your re-appearance was not a coincidence, i know, i know it's time i check my heart once again.
One look - nothing. One touch - nothing. One conversation - still nothing; it's over/. Pride may mask me, bitterness may harass me ; a passing emotion, a selfish evil desire that you should be worse off...No more shall it haunt me,no more shall it devour me for God's Love have overcomed it all. Tks for e 2 gentleman that stayed by me, thanks dear fuji for ur kind words n affirmations, and thank God for residing in me (: it's finally over.

meetings, meetings and more meetings (whee...i'm so "loving" it) But honestly...the company measured up, it's much more bearable and in fact an enjoyment (: i finally sense some school spirit in a polytechnic. I love my humane society..=p Sometimes, I just wished i need not be holding different roles from my original position..thou at times, I may feel i'm not cut out to be in publicity. It really aint nice when all that kinda feelings set in but I know i'm being loved in dere, right? I really thank God for jerem n peg, i really wished that it's us 3 and not u 2 really.. but i guess i just have to be flexible. I reli enjoyed my time on the 1st...learning and dancing hsm to our hearts' content, walking around chinatown with these 2 khakis or rather aunties ( thou jerm is a guy=p) Had lip-smacking "zicha" at e hawker dere and mango tauhuey for dessert. Shiok!!.. immersing ourselves in oldies and "hokkien classics". It is a culture shared ; with joy and enthu fun...i wished we would have more of that! (: Jeremy, u're in my prayers. Take heart n press on!

i'm suddenly into chinese n hokkien oldies once again =p Laugh for all u want, as long as Jeremy dun lose that kick...i'm not alone on that. Hah! I was listening to this father-daughter duet and it jotted my memory all e way back....back when i was only 4yrs old... All the good old days, all the happy times but oh all that reminiscing aint doing me much good either. That song that we sang together daddy (if u rmb)...cos i still do. Why should it be any different now? I just need to learn how to be your little girl once again... i'm sorry.

i received a message from meiling...i'm exactly halfway thru my "challenge" Thank you God for staying so faithful all these while...i'm not even counting how long more i have...for it's my joy to consecrate my heart for you alone (:

checked in, booked out/. a new chapter, a different phrase.

There's so much to adapt to, there's so much to learn. But wells...my God is good, He'll know exactly what i need to get by. Transitions; in the here and now... Sometimes, it really aint that easy...it takes time, energy and every bit of faith n conviction that i've got to hold on. However, I know it is necessary and it has to be now. A bigger pictuer; a clearer view. A deeper promise; a stronger struggle to believe and persist. He sees, He hears, He knows...All (:

Days, hours, minutes, seconds;sometimes i tend to count,sometimes i tend to fumble, sometimes i tend to sulk, sometimes i tend to ponder but never once had i doubt that everything is in Your time Lord, i will wait patiently. A different level you're teaching me, a greater committment u're asking of me. I will try Lord, I promise but please help me!

Hello. goodbye. that's all it takes,
pool of hope; in thee i wade.
Space you need i gladly give
air He gave i fought to breathe

Music n lyrics resound in space,
thoughts and emotions fill the air.
Words you said i'll surely remember,
in hope to mark it with a "forever".

Stamped a red date at the end,
Prayed for God to take my hand.
Another week of whom I seek,
only You know what I need.
Take my heart and let it lay,
upon Your altar let it stay.

I shall leave this unfinished...am really tired at 1:54a.m. le..Goodnight (:

heart flutters by @ 3:50 AM