Tuesday, June 12, 2007
一个人生活 ( i still have jesus...)


叶子在窗外静静摇动,
人行道没有行人走过,
镜子里的我很不像我,
自从你离开了, 我变得很软弱.

你的影子在每一个角落,
好像是在提醒着我,
少了你的陪伴, 我现在有多寂寞.

我想我可以习惯一个人生活,
我想我可以假装不曾爱过,
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温柔我.
(感觉如果要走, 谁能说no.)


我想我可以习惯一个人生活,
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺,
爱你怎么会是这个结果.
(爱情是个梦, 而我睡过头)


d. Heart emotes till it's pleased,
d. Mind struggles to stay in sync,
d. Flesh abstains from it's deadly foe,
d. Soul elevates, longing for Home.
_______________________________


It’s a long long journey
Till I know where I’m supposed to be
It’s a long long journey
And I don’t know if I can believe


When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to You

Many days I’ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter, I know I will cry
I know You’ll be standing by my side.
It’s a long long journey
And I need to be close to You

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know whyI do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will You break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it’s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you to you
__________________________________

2 soulmates make up 99% of my human heart,
did i tell you i fail maths? Tell me.. subtracting it away; I'm left with __?
Unless by His grace, His love, His strength,
how could i possibly survive? just let me die...

It was cruel enough to have me give up my love,
and it's not even going through one more time...
but it's going throught BOTH at the same time ):
Different kinds of love they may be, but it's still that one word
L.O.V.E...

Can anyone measure the depth of my pain, the extent of my broken heart?
yes Lord, broken till it's contrite...yes yes I know..teach me Lord teach me.
but Lord, it's so hard, till it's enough to kill me and maybe just have it shut for good?
Why is it whenever I believe that there's still hope for me to have love, I'll lose it?
You made me a girl, you know how it goes, you know my weaknesses, you know my flaws...
so Lord, can I just live on Your Love alone? can't I have both? but You first.

My smiles are losing its natural flair, through that frame, others tell it all...
My happiness is fading off. Was it my pretense or simply all ur insensitivty?no one cld tell at all.. Was i expecting too much? was i hoping too much? I'm losing all the you's i can possibly name,
All that love that i shared, all the faith that i once had, was it just empty talk or heresay?
Not a battle of the sexes, for I'm losing grip on not one but both.

No-no, I still LOOK happy and there's about all/.
i dun wanna fall back into the old me Lord
all that superficiality..( who says I can't act? there...>.<) BUT
I am Your new born Lord. Help me I plead

to that special you: I have to remove you completely, as complete as my heart could go and as far as my mind could suggest. A month of memories is enough for me to lock u up, safetly in my heart. For now? Till then? uhhuh...time and my heart is in God's hands. I can't say more, I can't do more, I sldn't even see you, hear you. So help me my dear, don't even try. Cruel as it may be, I can almost say I can't resist, so help me, dun even try... Look to the Lord, u'll get what I mean. It's not yours nor my mistake, it's time we learn. God has allowed it, so let us learn through it. Yupp. what to do? we're sinful Man after all...No promises, no expectations. If we're meant to be, we will be. Let our hearts be still and pray. Love you. God bless (: Adieu/.

you lost one, you still got another. uhhuh...how blessed...

to another special you: I can't find the words to say at the moment. I can only say i dunno my heart too well u know so yea.. I'll keep my distance, just so not to hurt you, not to stumble you, not to confuse you...i dun wan us or rather me perhaps to burn up or sth. Eee. dun like ashes... What for? Yea...so God really had it all planned out huh?Time so nicely fit, countcount and u'll know =p Wells wells, we're on rough waters this year but God has seen us through so far yea? So no worries to the more that is to come. Bring it on!. Haha. Virtual lines gets blurred, lines on paper lasts yea? I think so too.. *noodds* Ventured into unsafe grounds...then i saw the light turned orangee.. uhhuh. wells wells...everything under God's love and convenent remain safe and secure, blameless and pure, so no worries. Let us keep just that (: God bless. Loves. Adieu/.

i'm already losing one, what's one more right? hah/.

how i long to have those arms wrapped around me..
how i long to have your eyes fixed upon me alone...
how i long to have your lips touch my cheeks...
how i long to hear you speak and sing to me...
how i long to have you take my hand into yours...
how i long to have your fingers running through my hair...
how i long to have your body close to mine....
how i long, i long/. (longing but never doing. *shakes*)
- who are you? i wonder too...-

help me to know that Father, You are more than enough (:

lalalala...my brains are too charred to say ath more le, lest my heart just stop or sth. So dun wanna risk it.. off i go ppl. Dun rack ur brains if u dun uds. If u're meant to, u will. Byee.. (:

heart flutters by @ 2:06 AM