Saturday, June 23, 2007
a special brother wrote me this:

Into this heart, I will go,
a last poem, before I go,
that my heart, you don’t know,
and wandering, there you go.

Knowing the certain fate,
reading all that thinking so late,
asking God, whats love and hate
is it now, or when's the date.

Letting go why so hard,
that made this a broken heart,
one or two, it matters not,
neither it is that should be fought.

On God alone, you will learn,
to squeeze the water out from stone,
moulding you, and crafting you,
into the woman, the Woman of God.

Facades and pretense,
the face all so tense,
the heart all so messed,
written simply all, not less..

Dont hide, dont try,
you can run, but never hide,
He knows it all, He knows it well,
and to heal, He opens them all.

Dont lock, i say,
dont seal them there,
upon His altar, let them lay,
memories and past, them they say,
unavoidable, haunting, arent they?

p.s (his) copyright reserved~ thus i shall leave it incomplete >.<
_________________________________________
Hmmm...mmm.. just me thinkin:

many a times Man will say:
don't bother, just brush it all away..
totality of mind n heart forbids
this, my lady don't you dare sleep..

incomplete as this may be,
I choose to trust what my eyes can't see,
Love ain't blind, cos my Faith guides me
broken seemingly. Contrite, i need to be.
Who is perfect? o none but He.
_____________________________

it has been such a long journey. Having gone thru the tougher seasons in this phase of my life, i pause to think in which I'm facing now? Sometimes, life is so segmented that i can't decide on which my life speaks most of...uhhuh..But then again, everything is supposedly interlinked, i can't just detach from one n speak of another... Hmm...it has been and will be a rocky ride ahead but i know i'm not to fret, for i've got Christ as captain (: *aye captain!*

Deeds done out of selfish love leads no where my friend/.

It's strange how one can confuse indifference with being optimistic. Optimism is realising the negativity of the circumstance, yet CHOOSES to look upon it with a positive attitude. Indifference, however points to escapism. Shutting hearts and distracting the mind ain't the anecdote. They just work like sleeping pills, brings you high up to the skies, then throw you flat down when time is up. You won't even live to know you died. It's even scarier to not know that the soul is feeding on those...it's enticing and addictive..but someone slapped me real hard, oh yes i nearly ended there. Wells, some people learn things the hard way huh? *shruggs* but thank God (:

Transparent or crystal-clear? Let the veil between you and i stay, that keeps us blameless and pure. Its transparency? I leave it to the He above. When e heart is focused, so goes with the mind. When the heart ain't, so gone is the mind. Yesyes, mind over heart some may say, but when Christ fills the heart, they can't say the same. You said open or close i should choose not, "Christ-system" embrace and fret not. Agreed (: Never did i deny the heart flutters, what-ifs and unsafe thoughts; but when Christ is in the picture, he reigns even over that. The future, the "perhaps", i commit unto Him. His perfect timing and beautiful plan, i shall choose not to intervene (: Sorry if my rebellion and intrusion had been an inconvenience, but we all learn don't we? I simply love God more. HAHA (((:

Thank God for the Christ in u and i. If not for that,love will fail cos we lack THE Love. Thank you for accomodating me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for cherishing me. Thank u for embracing an incomplete me. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for being you. I love you with e love of Christ (: -always and forever- <33

my heart accepts the challenge, for it desires the giver.

It's been 2.5 months. Thou i see your shadows almost everywhere but they no longer tempt me, tear me nor haunt me. Partial obedience is not complete so i repent. I've done the extreme, cutting off communications lines, fillling my heart with your messages one last time but deleting them right after. Let e past pass, memories stay as memories, let us not dwell on it no more. I'm glad our paths hab crossed but the chapter closes now. My heart is more or less at peace, cos i allowed God in, have you? My heart is open for healing. Christ is a great doctor. He gave me free will and grace to reject, experiment, digress before turning back again (:

The light do not mix with the dark, I eliminate darkness to grow in the light.

1st july- 31st Dec i await/. *heart flutters for God* *excitement*

Somehow i just have to leave this post the way it is. Reality just set in. I got piles of work at hand but I just have to get my fingers dancing first and my mind cleared. Haha. anyways "tuesdays with morrie" is a fantastic show, teaches me lessons in life, will share a bit more next time. Wheee...

jiayous to me (: *inhales deeply* I need all the smiles, hugs and love i can get. So don't get selfish with me. Haha, but all the more, i cherish the giver of it all.
C.H.R.I.S.T alone (",)


heart flutters by @ 1:33 AM